First, since we don't really consider Puerto Rico a part
of the United States, view it as a foreign nation.
Second, since the inhabitants of this foreign
nation don't really speak English anyway and since
their skin is fairly brown, see it as an enemy nation.
Third, mobilize the army, navy, marines, and air
force for combat.
Fourth, declare war on Puerto Rico.
Five, instead of bullets and bombs, load up our planes
with bundles of food and medicine to be dropped
all over the enemy.
Six, send in thousands of troops who carry food
and medicine, instead of munitions, and have these
Seven, send in tractors and trucks and cranes and
anything else needed to immediately rebuild roads,
bridges, schools, hospitals, and senior citizens centers.
Eight, "kill" this new enemy with love and kindness,
which will be much cheaper than literally killing them
and destroying their homeland.
Nine, residual benefits include American troops coming
home with smiles and healthy hearts and souls.
Ten, makes sure the world media witnesses our attack
on this defenseless island so they see what America
can do when a foreign nation has starving and homeless
That'll teach'm not to mess with Uncle Sam.
Oct 18 2017